What if…You Are Important?

Some years ago I went to see my doctor who has known me since I was a child. I was at a loss and knew I needed help.

I struggled to admit it, but my dream job had turned into a nightmare. I had constant anxiety and I was struggling to eat, sleep and take basic care of myself. I don’t remember the words I said to him, but there was definitely a moment I began laughing and crying like a traumatised hyena.

‘Debbie,’ he said gently, reaching for a piece of paper, ‘I’m going to sign you off for stress for two weeks. My prescription for you is a new job. I can’t give it to you on the NHS unfortunately, but I have every faith that you’ll find one that works better for you.’

Two weeks. Time for myself. A part of me was so grateful for the gift of time to recover that I couldn’t give myself.  But another part of me was railing at the thought of quitting. I don’t quit, do I?

Quitting = admitting defeat. I’m Debbie, I’m A Leader and I Make Things Work!

The next day, I was on my couch having tea with a dear friend. I was telling him how I was planning to take these two weeks to ‘reset’ and go back more resilient and ready than ever. He put his hand on my arm. ‘Debbie, the question is, what do you really want? Forget the company – they were there before you and they’ll be there after you. What if what you want is important?’

Something about the way he said ‘important’ reached me through my fortress of justification… What if what I want is important? What if…I Am Important? Honesty, in that relentless environment where my efforts were never enough, I had totally lost sight of the fact what I felt, valued and wanted mattered.  

I had taken up cross-stitch at that time, a way to use my hands and quieten my mind. At 2am that night, I found myself stitching in a kind of sleepless trance… ‘I Am Important.’ When I finished, I blinked and read back the words. There was no denying it now I’d immortalised them with needle and thread.

And ever since, the words ‘I am Important’ have travelled with me. Adorning my bedside table or desk. Lenses both fresh and familiar through which I approach life.

It was during those two weeks that I contracted my first Integral Coach, Bobby. Where my doctor couldn’t help, I immediately saw that she could.

• I got ‘self-centred’ in a good way.

• I discovered and own my strengths, building new confidence I’d never felt before.

• I found practical ways to recognise and articulate my boundaries.

• I became more able to schedule regular time to ground and care for myself, rather than waiting until I was sick or run ragged.

• I got crystal clear on my leadership values - authenticity, courage and compassion.

From a place of ‘I Am Important’, I was able to see that being ‘Debbie The Leader’ and ‘Making Things Work’ meant leaving that job that no longer aligned for me. I found that job my doctor prescribed, one that better aligned with my strengths and values. In that context, ‘I Am Important’ meant taking up my rightful space, articulating my commitments and boundaries, and contributing to a positive, enabling working environment where we all felt Important. Less than 2 years later, I started my coaching and consultancy business, with my strengths and values at its foundation.

I will be forever grateful to Bobby, but also to my past self for investing in that course of coaching. Whole new worlds of more authentic possibility opened up to me. And of course, it led to me eventually certifying as an Integral Coach as well.

The whole world looks different through ‘I Am Important.’ Full of expression, power and possibility. But as we know, the world has lots of ways of keeping us thinking we’re small and unimportant, so I can use reminding every day… And maybe you can too.

What if you lived your life through the lens of ‘I am Important?’

Take some time to finish each of these sentences for yourself…

Given that I Am Important, today I prioritise…

Given that I Am Important,  I say an enthusiastic ‘yes’ to…

Given that I Am Important, I say a straight-up ‘no’ to…

Given that I Am Important, I choose to spend my energy / time / money on…

Given that I Am Important, I give myself the gift of…

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Let’s get Important around here!

Find out more about coaching with me to invest in the Importance that is You, in Leadership and Life.

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